Embracing the Solo Journey: Finding Joy in Being Single
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone." –Robin Williams
Being single is sometimes viewed as a temporary state of limbo—a waiting room for finding "the one." I used to feel that way. Or maybe you do not have the desire to marry and want to live a full life on your own where you can commit to family, work, and/or the Lord's calling in your life. There is nothing wrong with that either! The truth is, no matter where you find yourself in your views on singleness, I want to encourage everyone to understand that being single is far from a mere transition period or a place of loneliness; it's a valuable and meaningful season of life in its own right. It sometimes can feel painful when you desire to meet your person and want to settle down. If you're not careful, you may find yourself feeling jealousy of other's relationships, engagements, and connections. For my singles who are in the boat of carrying that desire for marriage, it can be challenging and I am speaking from experience! However, I can see how necessary it is even when we may not want it. That is easier said than done, but it is true. Being single is a time where you can enjoy your life and freedom the way you want to! In this blog post, we'll explore the beauty of embracing singleness, savoring the freedom it brings, and finding joy in every moment of this unique journey.
Discovering Self-Discovery
With so much more time to yourself, it is a good time to find things you enjoy doing. I recently found a love for biking and modeling. One of the greatest gifts of being single is the opportunity to have more time for discovering your true self and working on your personal growth. Without the demands and responsibilities of a romantic relationship, individuals have the freedom to explore their passions, interests, and values on their own terms. Whether it's pursuing a new hobby, traveling solo to that place you have always wanted to visit, or diving deep into self-reflection, being single offers a fertile ground for deepening self-awareness and discovering what truly brings fulfillment and purpose. Life is a journey and while it will be very nice to share it with special someone, the time you do have for yourself can be used to help you find your true self.
Cultivating Independence
Being single provides a chance to cultivate independence and self-reliance, nurturing a strong sense of autonomy and confidence. Learning to enjoy your own company, make decisions for yourself, and navigate life's ups and downs independently can be empowering and liberating. I had to learn that if I can't have fun by myself or enjoy the presence of my own company, I needed to work on that. I remember the first time I went to the movies and dinner all by myself. And you know what? I had a great time! I have met other single individuals who told me they could never do that and I can understand why. However, life truly is meant to be enjoyed and you can enjoy some activities solo. Embracing solo adventures, tackling challenges head-on, and embracing your individuality can help you develop a deep sense of self-assurance and resilience.
Building Meaningful Connections
You may not believe me but being single doesn't mean being alone or isolated! In fact, it offers the opportunity to cultivate meaningful connections with friends, family, and the greater community. Investing in friendships, nurturing familial bonds, and participating in social activities can enrich your life and provide a sense of belonging and support. Surrounding yourself with positive influences and building a strong support network can enhance your well-being and enrich your single journey. Even as a Christian woman, I do believe the Lord is with me. He said He would never leave me or forsake me. It still can feel lonely from time to time, but in my heart, I know He is there.
Focusing on Personal Growth
Being single allows individuals to prioritize their personal growth and development without the distractions of a romantic relationship. Whether it's pursuing educational or career goals, focusing on health and wellness, or embarking on a journey of self-improvement, being single offers the time and space to invest in yourself fully. Embracing opportunities for learning, growth, and self-care can lay the foundation for a fulfilling and purpose-driven life. I have this new goal to find a new hobby or skill to learn every year. Over the last four years, I have picked up painting, playing chess, roller skating, and long-distance running. This year I decided to learn how to sail and will practice modeling. This is a fun way to keep things joyful and fun for yourself!
Savoring the Present Moment
Perhaps the most important aspect of embracing being single is learning to savor the present moment and find joy in the journey. Instead of viewing singleness as a waiting period for the next relationship, approach it as a precious season of life to be cherished and celebrated. Engage in activities that bring you joy, cultivate gratitude for the blessings in your life, and embrace the freedom and flexibility that being single affords. You won't get this time back, so it is good to enjoy the "now". I find myself dreaming about the future from time to time, but I also remind myself to enjoy the current moment as well. It's only natural to think about what comes next and I love planning, but you have the opportunity to make lasting members today.
Being single is not a state of lack but rather an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and fulfillment. By embracing singleness, cultivating independence, building meaningful connections, focusing on personal growth, and savoring the present moment, individuals can find joy and fulfillment in every season of their lives. Whether single or in a relationship, remember that your worth and happiness are not defined by your relationship status—embrace the journey, and savor the beauty of being exactly where you are. I am encouraged as a single, Christian woman who does desire marriage that the Lord will provide if it is in His will. I truly believe it is and that It is a gift to be single. It even says so in the Bible (1 Corinthians 7:32-33). For a long time, I struggled with this. I thought that if I try to enjoy being single, then this would somehow show God I have given up on Him sending the right man in my life because my focus was no longer on my desires. I even thought one time or another that I had to always find ways to put myself out there on dating apps so I would not miss my opportunity to meet someone special. There were many nights I wondered why other women were blessed with spouses and engagements while I had to go to bed alone. But one morning, I woke up and told myself I would not let another day pass where I could not experience God's joy. I have prayed about purpose and knowing myself, if I ever settle with the wrong man who unknowingly steers me off of the path God has for me, I know this will not be good. All in all, I decided to cast my cares onto God, knowing that He truly does care for me. He knows the desires of my heart. He knows the perfect timing for everything. As I take each day, one day at a time, I search for ways to strengthen my relationship with God and work towards my bigger purpose. I choose to embrace my singleness as a true gift - to love myself more, to serve, and to discover new things about myself. Whether you hope to find that love of your life or you choose to live a life of singleness, life can be beautiful on this side of the fence - you just have to see it that way.
Prayer About Singleness
Dear Heavenly Father,
In moments of loneliness or doubt, remind me of Your promises. When the weight of singleness feels heavy, and the future seems uncertain, anchor my heart in Your truths. I know that everything, including this season of singleness, is part of Your grand design, and You make all things beautiful in Your time. Infuse my spirit with hope, knowing that You are preparing me for the chapters ahead, whether they involve singleness, partnership, or an entirely different journey.
Let my trust not be in societal timelines or pressures but solely in Your sovereign plan. For in Your hands, my story unfolds with purpose, love, and grace.
Scriptures For Singles
1 Corinthians 7:32-35 “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Hosea 2:19-20 “I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord.”
Mark 12:25 “When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.”
Song of Solomon 3:5 “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Isaiah 54:5 “For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.”
Isaiah 34:16 “Look in the scroll of the Lord and read: None of these will be missing, not one will lack her mate. For it is his mouth that has given the order, and his Spirit will gather them together.”
John 15: 5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
John 15:16-17 “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.”
Hebrews 13:5 “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
1 Timothy 6:6-8 “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”
Isaiah 43:1-2 “But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
Matthew 28:18-20 “Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Joel 2:25 “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm—my great army that I sent among you.”
Matthew 20:25-28 “Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 30:18 “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!
Isaiah 40:31 “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. “
Lamentations 3:25 “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him.”
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”
Numbers 6: 24-26 “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
2 Peter 3:18 “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and forever! Amen.”
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